Sunday, March 28, 2010

Missing Puppy Paws

Anyone who has had a dog that they grew up with understands how hard it is to say good-bye to them. People who don't have pets or never had pets don't understand the bond between you and your puppy. And no matter how old he/she gets, they will always be a puppy in your mind.

They never cared if you had your hair done, had morning breath, or looked like hell because you were sick, and were always there to listen to you vent and loved you unconditionally. That was Abbie.

She was the dog who knew all of my secrets, my sister's secrets, and both of my brother's secrets. She always was there when we were crying or fighting and never told on us. And I can honestly say she was the only dog who NEVER chewed a pair of my shoes.

When my parents were getting divorced she was the strong one who made sure all of us kids were okay and that my mom was okay. Her coat collected numerous amounts of tears, and she would just give kisses.

Abbie never passed judgement, never told us that we weren't good enough, she just loved us and the only thing she wanted in return was a belly rub or a walk.

Even as she got older, she still just loved us unconditionally and even though walks were difficult for her, she was still game for a belly rub.

We all knew that it was time to tell her good-bye but it didn't make things any easier, there were some days that she acted like a puppy and others when she couldn't hardly move. But any doubts we had she put out of our minds. When we took her to the vet and she was laying on the table her eyes were saying thank you.

As hard as it was to say good-bye, we did the right thing. And as we said our good-byes to her, she gave us kisses almost saying thank you for being the best family and taking care of me. No matter how many years go by we will always be missing her.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Stomach Turning Butterflies

Have you have had those moments in life that give you butterflies and make you want to throw up all at the same time? Either those little moments that aren't going to matter in about 10 minutes or those huge life changing moments that have to potential to determine not only your future but the future of your spouse as well. Those are the moments that make you second guess everything, make you want to cry and laugh and scream all at the same time...

This past week has been full of "stomach turning butterflies" for me and definitely for my husband. We found out on Tuesday he got the position he interviewed for, that was essentially created for him at another hospital. He accepted the position and we are both elated by the new job, but with that excitement comes the rest of the emotional roller coaster that goes with being launched outside of your "comfort zone."

We are both blessed to be employed during this economic rough patch and have great paying jobs, but only one of us is happy. The job he is currently at makes him feel like he has no purpose, his boss is verbally and emotionally abrasive, and he is exhausted when he gets home. It sucks being a wife and not being able to "fix" all the problems in the world. And it honestly breaks my heart to hear the things that his boss says to him and to see the pain in his eyes. But on the same hand, it is comfortable, he's been there for almost two years.

We sat and analyzed the pros and cons and pros and cons, oh and the pros and cons, probably over analyzed, but hey when you are make a life change what else is there to do? Sit and take it in stride, that is the way the world tells you to handle things. Nope, becoming borderline neurotic and over analytical is the answer.

Even though the shift isn't ideal, we know that we will be okay and get through it. Not to mention he is going to consistantly be on one shift, not switching from first to third to first to third, to whenever else someone doesn't feel like working.

Watching the spark come back into his eyes and the energy return to his body, has been confirmation that the decision he made is the right one. All of a sudden all the stress in our life seems to have gone and we are closer than we were before.

Even though the new hospital is about 5 times bigger than his current one, I know that he will succeed in his career move. The different and endless opportunites that wait for him and us are endless and make the stomach turning butterflies worthwhile.